Bodhi

I first started doing Ketamine when I was 15 as just another drug I wanted to try for fun with friends. I got such a euphoric high from it and found myself drawn more to it than other drugs. It was so fun I went from doing it at events now and again to getting through multiple g’s a week. It was often hard to stop buying it as I had friends around me who loved it just as much.

I didn’t realise I had a problem until I started doing it every other day. It was becoming an obsession in my head, I found myself doing it around friends who didn’t touch drugs, blowing any money I had on it and using it alone in my room. I reached out for help when I began stealing money from my parents to afford it and taking amounts of my friend’s ketamine to get a bigger high for myself.

My tolerance grew, my cravings grew but the fun of the high shrank. I would be out of it for hours and be left tired and low, unable to do my day to day activities. Ketamine affected my friendships, my college work and I found myself distant from family, especially when I was always doing it out with others or in my room alone.

When I am feeling low or stressed, I think about how good I would feel on it and my mind often tries to find excuses to buy myself some. One of the biggest challenges I faced was discipline; I would say yes at any opportunity or go straight back to it when something went wrong in my life, it was hard to finally choose to cut myself off.

The Matthew Project has helped me through meeting weekly to talk about my usage and the ways in which Ketamine created problems in my life. I have gained a bigger awareness on the harmful impact it has on my body and mind. The Matthew Project has helped me find other ways I can find highs in my life which don’t come from drugs and understand the way my addiction has affected me over the past year.

My advice to anyone struggling with Ketamine use is that it’s not silly to ask for support. I used to think I didn’t have a problem and I could stop whenever I felt like it. But I never stopped and I struggled to manage my well-being. Talk to people because then it gets easier to find solutions on how to make a change.

I feel I am doing okay now. I’m not using it as often as I used to and I am learning about myself and how I want to shape my future, moving away from ketamine use. I’ve distanced myself from certain friends who made it harder to quit, and I started ignoring my dealers.

Being around people who didn’t use ketamine had the most positive impact on reducing my drug use. Instead of using drugs, I found enjoyment in simple activities, like spending time together. It helped me rediscover happiness in the little things I had forgotten I loved.


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