Sally

At 17, I was heavily into smoking cannabis, alongside other substances, but I realised cannabis was a catalyst for my anxiety. I became addicted to the point where I didn’t really want to go out anymore, I would rather stay at home and smoke. I smoked before sixth form, during breaks, and spent the day looking forward to the moment I could get home and smoke again. At my peak, I was smoking 3.5g every two days, regardless of the money it cost me.

My life became a cycle: smoke, eat, sleep, repeat.

It massively impacted my mental health. I realised I was only happy when I was high, but deep down I knew that feeling wasn’t genuine. I felt like a deer in headlights, always looking around, trapped in my own head, paranoid about the people around me. I started to feel like people only wanted me around because of cannabis, not because they genuinely cared about me as a friend.

If I hadn’t smoked, I became angry, frustrated and agitated. It damaged my relationships and pushed me deeper into negative thinking. Inside my head there was a constant battle: I want to smoke. Maybe I can’t today. But when I couldn’t, those feelings would build until I snapped at the people around me.

One of the biggest challenges was moving away from the friendship group that fuelled my smoking. I realised I felt lonely even when I was with them. They weren’t having a positive impact on my life. I also recognised something important, they could take cannabis or leave it, but I couldn’t. I knew I was addicted.

At my lowest point, I sent an email to The Matthew Project asking for help. That message changed everything.

With support, I was finally able to talk openly about the things that were troubling me. Instead of only focusing on what was going wrong, we started looking at what was going well. Slowly, I began to realise what I wanted from life and started setting new goals for myself.

I also met new people, creative, inspiring friends who accepted me for who I am. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely cared for.

Over time, I slowly reduced my smoking and eventually stopped completely while travelling in Asia. Having supportive people around me made a huge difference, but the first few weeks were still incredibly difficult. At first, I thought I might smoke again in the future. But after three months without cannabis, I realised I had already overcome the hardest part.

I felt uplifted. I discovered a passion for photography and started feeling productive again. I realised cannabis had been holding me back from becoming the person I wanted to be.

Now, I feel proud of myself. I know there will always be challenges in life, but overcoming addiction showed me that I can do difficult things. Addiction runs through my family, but I now understand that it does not have to define my future.

Since stopping smoking, I’ve travelled, worked full-time as a chef, discovered a massive love for photography, and now plan to study it further abroad. I still go to festivals, cities and gigs. I still have fun. Those things didn’t have to stop, life is still great, just different.

I would encourage anyone struggling not to be afraid to ask for help. Reaching out felt scary, but in reality, it was the easiest part. I didn’t want to upset my family or make them think differently of me, so talking to a professional felt safer. There was no judgement. I could talk openly, leave feeling lighter, and know I could always come back and continue where we left off.

If I hadn’t reached out to The Matthew Project, I honestly don’t think I’d be where I am today.

Now, I feel grateful, and incredibly proud of everything I’ve achieved.

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